So I realize I have a lot of fucked up issues and I am always swimming through the pool of depression. I am always trying to fight off the attacks of emotional thoughts. Lately I have been wishing I wasn't alive. I am fading back into the darkness I once left years ago. I am fading everyday when I am trying so hard not to. How did I get here? Why must I make choices on impulse all the time? I know I didn't have positive role models growing up and I try not to use that as an excuse but damn... its hard. Why am I here on this earth? I am not wanted anywhere I go. I don't feel loved I feel used.
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